the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
