Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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