I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
