yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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