i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
