remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize