The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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