I hate your face
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
