Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
