UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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