So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
