I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
