PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
