i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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