dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
