I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
