Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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