we have officially lost it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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