I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
