I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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