My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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