ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
