I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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