So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
