Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize