We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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