I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
