Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
