PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
