Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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