Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
