If i come over, it means nothing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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