He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
