You're completely useless in the revolution.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize