he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
