i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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