he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
