just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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