Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
