So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
