maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
