Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
