I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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