there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
