i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
