I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
