Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
