so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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