i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
