every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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