Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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