Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
