She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
