You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
