How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
