I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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