i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
