So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
