He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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