im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
