3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this will be a night to untag.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
