Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There's even glitter on my cock...
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